Observation Procrastination

What is wrong with me? Am I the only person who procrastinates every time I have an observation? I have a pre-observation phone meeting tonight with my principal and do I have anything set? NOPE!

I know what I am planning on doing with my kiddos and BELIEVE ME I am not resting on my laurels.  I have in my head what I want to do and by tomorrow night everything will be written out nice and pretty-like and all my papers will be copied and what needs to be laminated will be all set and ready to go.  (Thank you personal at home laminator I purchased on Amazon.com using my Ebates)

Then during the observation the small group I am working with will look at me in confusion.  (OMG!) I will think "Why don't they get it? Was I too fast? Are they bored and this is their bored look? Is this too easy?"  Eventually at some point I will end up switching gears and going in a completely different direction from intended lesson- leaving behind those beautifully laminated and hand colored cards.

Why do I leave it behind? Because my students NEED ME.  They need the real me that they know- not this Stepford teacher that doles out stickers like lollipops at the bank.  They need me to laugh, rumple their hair, and make the crazy faces I do when teaching my little cherubs.  This is how they learn.  In my stomach I will feel like I screwed up because I deviated from the lesson.  I'll think "oh Crap! Now i'll have to document WHY I deviated" but in the end my kiddos will win.  They will walk away from the group with a smile on their little faces and a few stickers.  I will have a sweat stain on my blouse and a pit of doom in my stomach.

Why does being observed have to be so gut-wrenching? Why can I create/publish my own blog, create quality teaching materials from scratch, and figure out how Adsense works yet I can't navigate Bloomboard?  I feel like such an idiot!  I know my stuff yet to get me to try and verbalize my thinking and I sound like porky pig on fast forward.

My hopes and prayers are that my boss gets it.  Fingers crossed that she is one of those awesome people that really and truly get how unique our position is and how thinking on our feet is a necessity. Lesson plans are a good guide but real teaching is student driven.  Sometimes that is forgotten.

Heading off to prepare SOMETHING for my phone call.  Wish me luck!